Image via WikipediaWOW! I should probably leave it at that and say good night and that way whatever happened at this
school will stay at this school! :o) I guess I have to share this day now or people will start worrying and think I done gone crazy and buried my whole family in the backyard!!! :o) I swear I didn't! :o) Actually the day went pretty well until this evening when all the excitement and structured learning culminated in all 4 of our children involved turned into crabby cranky little critters all through dinner and now I can't get them to bed. I find the only that went wrong today is me. It seems like the more organized and disciplined I become or long to be in all facets of my being the crazier life seems to get! I have been so focused on the children and all that they have been through in the last year in particular with so many highs and lows in all the
trauma that's been coming at us from every direction it seems including inside and out, the more the answer lies in me getting my act together at super sonic speeds. Even though I am used to flying by the seat of my pants as almost a way of life as of late as I have been reacting and not
acting, I find that I require so much work physically in terms of somehow finding enough
energy to not only get through the day but also mustering enough from somewhere to be the mommy and wife I've always tried to be and deep down have always been. I am a great mommy and wife and I am so very blessed to have the best husband and children in the world. I've been really hard on myself because I think I've felt so guilty that I wasn't able to recover from all of my health issues after having our son so close to all of the other high-risk
C-section pregnancies and deliveries and all of the other numerous complications and emergencies that life has thrown our way. Our family and in particular my husband who is my
soul mate, my very best friend, and this whole family's rock and foundation (he just keeps growing and rising to life's many determining moments in ways that he is not even aware of nor that he possesses such strengths) is so amazing and so very strong as in
super hero strong but you can only handle so much before you end up in some dark corner behind the sofa shaking from all the post traumatic stress!!! Mentally and spiritually I have healed to a highly renewed much healthier and stronger me. I know our decision for all the various reasons we have decided to go this direction with our educational and socialization goals for the children and our family are sound and much needed for the children and their all around well being mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, academically, socially, culturally, rudimentary wise, and architectually. We are also addressing our family's need for the flexibility we are about to require to pursue treatment, care, and maintenance for one of our children's very health, safety, and well being (she has a rare birthmark involving
blood vessels in some very life threatening locations which need to be handled with lazer surgery and extensive treatment and continued care, which our whole family needs to be involved with.) Our family will continue to heal and to indeed to thrive together facing life head on with it's many demands and expectations and even obstacles as long as we map our own course and meet our family's needs but specifically our children's needs. Of that I am, we are, absolutely certain that we know them and know what is best for them. With that said, now I just need to stay on course with my routines and schedules and continue to find both the energy and organizational skills that I somewhere along the way misplaced or really lost (after today's adventures, who am I kidding!) The kids could have roped and tied me and left me on the train tracks and there would have been nothing I could have done! Thank God for older daughters (22) being the mommy/teacher's helper!
Image via WikipediaWOW! I should probably leave it at that and say good night and that way whatever happened at this school will stay at this school! :o) I guess I have to share this day now or people will start worrying and think I done gone crazy and buried my whole family in the backyard!!! :o) I swear I didn't! :o) Actually the day went pretty well until this evening when all the excitement and structured learning culminated in all 4 of our children involved turned into crabby cranky little critters all through dinner and now I can't get them to bed. I find the only that went wrong today is me. It seems like the more organized and disciplined I become or long to be in all facets of my being the crazier life seems to get! I have been so focused on the children and all that they have been through in the last year in particular with so many highs and lows in all the trauma that's been coming at us from every direction it seems including inside and out, the more the answer lies in me getting my act together at super sonic speeds. Even though I am used to flying by the seat of my pants as almost a way of life as of late as I have been reacting and not acting, I find that I require so much work physically in terms of somehow finding enough energy to not only get through the day but also mustering enough from somewhere to be the mommy and wife I've always tried to be and deep down have always been. I am a great mommy and wife and I am so very blessed to have the best husband and children in the world. I've been really hard on myself because I think I've felt so guilty that I wasn't able to recover from all of my health issues after having our son so close to all of the other high-risk C-section pregnancies and deliveries and all of the other numerous complications and emergencies that life has thrown our way. Our family and in particular my husband who is my soul mate, my very best friend, and this whole family's rock and foundation (he just keeps growing and rising to life's many determining moments in ways that he is not even aware of nor that he possesses such strengths) is so amazing and so very strong as in super hero strong but you can only handle so much before you end up in some dark corner behind the sofa shaking from all the post traumatic stress!!! Mentally and spiritually I have healed to a highly renewed much healthier and stronger me. I know our decision for all the various reasons we have decided to go this direction with our educational and socialization goals for the children and our family are sound and much needed for the children and their all around well being mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, academically, socially, culturally, rudimentary wise, and architectually. We are also addressing our family's need for the flexibility we are about to require to pursue treatment, care, and maintenance for one of our children's very health, safety, and well being (she has a rare birthmark involving blood vessels in some very life threatening locations which need to be handled with lazer surgery and extensive treatment and continued care, which our whole family needs to be involved with.) Our family will continue to heal and to indeed to thrive together facing life head on with it's many demands and expectations and even obstacles as long as we map our own course and meet our family's needs but specifically our children's needs. Of that I am, we are, absolutely certain that we know them and know what is best for them. With that said, now I just need to stay on course with my routines and schedules and continue to find both the energy and organizational skills that I somewhere along the way misplaced or really lost (after today's adventures, who am I kidding!) The kids could have roped and tied me and left me on the train tracks and there would have been nothing I could have done! Thank God for older daughters (22) being the mommy/teacher's helper! 
